He did what in the cake? – Toni Erdmann movie review

Toni Erdmann is a German comedy (mind the oxymoron) about Ines, a hard-working business consultant in an industry where sexism continues to weigh her down, who is paid an unwelcome visit by her father Winfried, an old-age prankster hoping to reconnect after the death of his dog. 

Toni Erdmann has garnered every critical acclaim under the sun and with good reason, it’s a German comedy with actual laugh-out-loud moments. That hasn’t happened since 2003 so it’s impossible not to praise. However the praise goes a little too far…

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Am I the only one who notices Barney the Dinosaur’s stunt doubles in the background?

Critics are so caught up in the fact that Toni Erdmann is funny, they forget that it isn’t perfect. There are quite a few scenes which are slow, sometimes painfully. Particularly one scene in which a man pleasures himself towards a cake.

I did not spoil anything for you. It isn’t essential to the story. In fact it’s quite the opposite; it never should’ve been written in. It is as progressive to the story as would be pausing the film IN THE CINEMA AND TAKING AWAY EVERYONE’S POPCORN.

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“Did he just diss the cake scene?”

For Germany’s first ever recorded attempt at comedy, this is quite long. The film clocks in at 2 hours and 40 minutes (3 hours if you include ads) and I’d say at least 40 minutes could be chopped off. But there’s still at least an hour and a half I don’t want cut out because it contributes to a good film with good scenes and good characters and good fake teeth and good nudity and GOOD WHAT?!?!

Toni Erdmann is one of those films which will make me say what no other film could; “that nude scene was hilarious”. If you watch the film for yourself, you’ll understand what I mean.

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With the blood on the shirt, I could swear this is a Tarantino scene.

I’ll tell you what the other reviewers have already told you; good direction, great performances, good writing, good nudity, etcetera, etcetera.

But I’ll also tell you what the other reviewers won’t say; it’s not worth it. If the film had one or two scenes without purpose then I’d be content but there are at least 40 minutes of unnecessary film here.

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No caption required. Bask in the glory of that wig…

Jack Nicholson has already announced he’s producing and starring in the Hollywood remake of this (typical Hollywood) and for once, I feel the English remake could be better than the German original.

With Kristen Wiig set to play the role of Ines and Jack Nicholson set for Winfried, I could definitely see a well-made American remake of Toni Erdmann which wiLL HOPEFULLY GO WITHOUT THE MASTURBATORY CAKES.

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Imagine Nicholson on the left and Wiig on the right – there’s the American version.

If you really want to see it, go ahead. There are some good aspects and some certainly hilarious scenes but in the long run, Toni Erdmann took away 3 hours of my life I could’ve spent writing other reviews. I’d wait for the DVD where you can forget the ads and skip the useless guff.

Just stick to the good bits, yeah? Not the… yeah. This film put me off cakes for a while.

What did you think of Toni Erdmann? Do you think Hollywood will do better?

Whatever your thoughts, be sure to leave your comment below, sign up to this blog on the side and don’t forget to check out my second blog for video games HERE.

Also don’t forget to donate to my school’s team in the World’s Greatest Shave! We’re aiming for $5000 and we’re so far at $363. If you can, please help out HERE.

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